Jerzideva's corner

Alive

2008-02-20T05:44:09Z

Helloooooooooo! *begins dusting*

It's certainly been a while. For those of you thinking I had crawled into a hole and died, well... you should have tried to check! As for those who wished that, I ought to hit you over the head with the mallet I'll be making in a month's time. So kind of like a IOU type of thing. Just remind me that I owe you a mallet hit to the head, alright? lol

Soo... update, update.

I'm uhh... no longer working at The Source/Radioshack, which, IMO, is a very good thing. Yeah, I got to play with gadgets all day long and play video games on 5 HD TVs (at the same time) with the sound being piped through the store's sound system but the job had its drawback. Actually, too many downsides to the job that I won't bother getting into. It's in the past, I've put it behind me and it can look at my butt for as long as it wants.

At the moment, I'm currently working at Euro Snack. Know where the skating rink at Bonaventure is? No? Too bad. Euro Snack is one of the fast food places located around it. In other words, I flip burgers! And no, I'm not giving you free food. Maybe to you over there but not to you.

That's during the day so what am I doing at night?

RTC. Rosemount Technology Centre. Maybe you've heard of it, maybe not. Point is, I'm taking the Cabinetmaking program there. It's a night course, 1.5-year program with a 6-week internship at a company of my choice near the end.

In all my years education, this is perhaps the ONLY time when I'm actually looking forward to going to school. The pressure to do well, the stress of projects and exams are still there but the atmosphere is so different. It's so much more ... friendly and encouraging. Everybody is helping each other. Even the senior group will sometimes drop by and give advice and tips. The teachers actually seem to care about us and they give off such a positive vibe. They actually WANT to be there. How cool is that?

I'm learning a lot and I'm liking this even more than I initially thought I would. It's just so satisfying to be working with your hands. I could go on and on about this but I won't. If I do, you'll never hear the end of it and you won't be able to shut me up. lol

As for making stuff for you people, wait til I'm done with the program!

For those of you wondering, yes, I'm still single. :P I haven't gotten a girlfriend during my absence. How can I? With my schedule, I don't have time. Heck, the time I spend at work and school outweighs the time I spend at home. But I wouldn't turn down a potential relationship. We'll see how everything goes, eh?

About that... I'm talking with a [great] friend right now and we were just kind of tackling that subject. It turns out that my type is labeled "Idiot"! How wicked is that? xD

Okay. Back to work for me. I still have to type of the procedure, the assembly checklist and the shopping list for my slipstone box. I know that didn't make any sense whatsoever. That's okay. As long as I understand it.

...Actually, I'm a bit lost about some of that. =\

jerzideva @ 2007-02-11T21:42:00

2007-02-12T02:45:48Z

Many thanks to Richard and Pauline for sending me this by email.

This is definitely worth a read. All I ask is that you take a few minutes of your busy day to read this and to reflect upon what has been written by William Haynes.

The Peaceful Majority
by William Haynes

I used to know a man whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War Two. They owned a number of large industries and estates. I asked him how many German people were true Nazis, and the answer he gave has stuck with me and guided my attitude toward fanaticism ever since.

"Very few people were true Nazis "he said," but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come. My family lost everything I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories."

We are told again and again by "experts" and "talking heads" that Islam is the religion of peace, and that the vast majority of Muslimsjust want to live in peace.

Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the specter of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam. The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history.

It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder, or honor kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. The hard quantifiable fact is that the "peaceful majority" is the "silent majority" and it is cowed and extraneous.

Communist Russia comprised Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 20 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant. China's huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people.

The average Japanese individual prior to World War 2 was not a warmongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet. And, who can forget Rwanda , which collapsed into butchery. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were "peace loving"?

History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points:

Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence. Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany , they will awake one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun.

Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians, and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late.

As for us who watch it all unfold; we must pay attention to the only group that counts; the fanatics who threaten our way of life.

Lastly, I wish to add: I sincerely think that anyone who rejects this as just another political rant, or doubts the seriousness of this issue or
just deletes it without paying heed to it, or sending it on, is part of the problem. Lets quit laughing at and forwarding the jokes and cartoons which denigrate and ridicule our leaders in this war against terror. They are trying to protect the interests and well being of the world and it's citizens. Best we support them.

William Haynes
bill2space@cox.net

jerzideva @ 2006-12-02T23:57:00

2006-12-03T03:57:11Z

The glass is neither half full nor half empty. It is simply too big.

jerzideva @ 2006-10-07T00:18:00

2006-10-07T04:19:18Z

I Am A Christian

When I say... "I am a Christian", I'm not shouting "I'm clean living." I'm whispering "I was lost." Now I'm found and forgiven.

When I say... "I am a Christian", I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide.

When I say... "I am a Christian", I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need HIS strength to carry on.

When I say... "I am a Christian", I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess.

When I say... "I am a Christian", I'm not claiming to be perfect. My flaws are far too visible but God believes I am worth it.

When I say... "I am a Christian", I still feel the sting of pain, I have my share of heartaches so I call upon His name.

When I say... "I am a Christian", I'm not holier than thou. I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow...

jerzideva @ 2006-08-25T23:29:00

2006-08-26T03:29:30Z

If you could sum up my personality in one single word, what would that word be?

Long time much?

2006-07-02T01:34:48Z

It's been a while, hasn't it?

Anymoo, not much to say. I'm still working at The Source by Circuit City (formely Radio Shack). I'm still looking for a better job where I won't run the risk of becoming clinically insane.

On another note, I finally caved in and bought myself a Nintendo DS Lite. But you know what? I don't regret it. xD It's an amazing piece of machinery and I'm in love with it! haha Now I understand why Joon and Daeya love theirs so much.

Now back to my New Super Mario Bros game!

jerzideva @ 2006-02-26T23:04:00

2006-02-27T04:04:49Z

Thank you, Diane, for posting this up.

______________________________

LIVE A LIFE THAT MATTERS

Whether you are ready or not, someday your life will come to an end.

There will be no more sunrises, no minutes, hours, nor days.

All the things you collected, whether treasured or forgotten, will pass to someone else.

Your wealth, fame and temporal power will shrivel to irrelevance.

It will not matter what you owned or what you were owed.

Your grudges, resentments, frustrations and jealousies will finally disappear.

So, too, your hopes, ambitions, plans and to-do lists will expire.

The wins and losses that once seemed so important will fade away.

It won't matter where you came from, or on what side of the tracks you lived at the end.

It won't matter whether you were beautiful or brilliant, even your gender and skin color will be irrelevant.

So what will matter? How will the value of your days be measured?

What will matter is not what you bought, but what you built; not what you got, but what you gave.

What will matter is not your success, but your significance.

What will matter is not what you learned, but what you taught.

What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage or sacrifice that enriched, empowered, or encouraged others to emulate your example.

What will matter is not your competence, but your character.

What will matter is not how many people you knew, but how many will feel a lasting loss when you are gone.

What will matter is not your memories, but the memories that live in those who love you.

What will matter is how long you will be remembered by whom and for what.

Living a life that matters doesn't happen by accident.

It's not a matter of circumstances, but of choice.

Choose to live a life that matters.

-Anonymous

jerzideva @ 2006-02-04T23:23:00

2006-02-05T04:23:24Z

Advent Children Figurine Review: Bahamut-Sin, Shadowcreeper, Sierra
Note: Click link for review

Bahamut-Sin

Shadowcreeper

Sierra

jerzideva @ 2006-01-24T01:37:00

2006-01-24T06:37:43Z

Brand new computer parts for sale, no tax.

TWO sticks of Azen 512MB 184-Pin DDR RAM: $85 for one, $160 for both (Originally priced at $99 + tx EACH)

ONE ASUS P5P800 Motherboard: $135 (Originally priced at $129 + tx)

There's no gimmick here. A friend of mine bought them with the intention of building himself a new computer but something came up and that is no longer possible. Let me know if you're interested.

God is...

2006-01-15T05:17:05Z

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.

[...]

15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like Him.

What's the right order?

2005-12-09T17:08:37Z

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this", or "Why did God have to do this to me". Here is a wonderful explanation!

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake."

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.
"Yuck" says her daughter.

"How about a couple raw eggs?"
"Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"
"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way, they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good!

We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful! God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning. Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

I can drive now! ...Legally, that is.

2005-12-01T05:41:06Z

Here's a little heads up for everybody...
I GOT MY FREAKING LICENSE!!

Now come congratulate me and shower me with well wishes. =D

You know you're a Montrealer when...

2005-11-25T03:51:00Z

-You pronounce it "Muntreal", not "Mahntreal".

-You have ever said anything like "I have to stop at the guichet before we get to the dep."

-You can watch soft-core porn on broadcast TV, and this has been true for at least 25 years.

-You show up at a party at 11 p.m. and no one else is there yet.

-You have yet to understand a single announcement made on the Metro PA system, no matter what the language.

-Your only concern about jaywalking is getting a ticket.

-You understand and frequently use terms like "unilingual", "anglophone", "francophone", and "allophone".

-You agree that Montreal drivers are crazy, but you're secretly proud of their nerves of steel.

-You have to bring smoked meat from Schwartz's and bagels from St-Viateur if you're visiting anyone west of Cornwall.

-You refer to Tremblant as "up North."

-You know how to pronounce Pie IX.

-You have an ancient auntie who still says "Saint Dennis."

-You believe to the depth of your very being that Toronto has no soul - but your high school reunion is held in Toronto because most of your classmates live there now.

-You greet everyone, from lifelong bosom friends to some one you met once a few years ago, with a two-cheek kiss.

-You know at least one person who used to work for Nortel.

-You're not impressed with hardwood floors.

-You've been hearing Celine Dion jokes longer than anyone else.

-You cringe when Bob Cole pronounces French hockey player names.

-You get Bowser & Blue.

-You were drinking cafe-au-lait before it was latte.

-You order fries "with sauce", not "with gravy".

-Shopper's Drug Mart is Pharmaprix and Staples is Bureau en Gros, and PFK (KFC) is finger lickin' good.

-You really believe Just For Laughs is an international festival.

-For two weeks a year, you are a jazz afficianado.

-You need to be reminded by prominent signage that you should wait for the green light.

-Everyone on the street - drivers, pedestrians, and cyclists - think they're immortal, and that you'll move first.

-You're proud that Montreal is the home of Pierre Trudeau, Mordechai Richler, William Shatner, Leonard Cohen and the Great Antonio...and, you consider Donald Sutherland (and by default, Keifer), Guy Lafleur, Charlie Biddle, and Roch Carrier Montrealers, too.

-You know that Rocket Richard had nothing to do with astrophysics.

-You've seen Brother Andre's heart.

-No matter how bilingual you are, you still don't understand "ile aux tourtes."

-You know the difference between the SQ, the SAQ, and the SAAQ.

-You measure temperature and distance in metric, but weight and height in Imperial measure.

-April Wine once played your high school (alternatively, Sass Jordon or Gowan).

-You know that Montreal is responsible for introducing the following to North America: bagels, souvlaki, smoked meat and Supertramp. Also, Chris de Burgh.

-You don't drink pop or soda, you drink soft drinks.

-You have graduated from high school and have a degree, but you've never been in grade 12.

-The margarine in your fridge is the same colour as lard.

-Every once in a while, you wonder whatever happened to Luba.

-You never thought that Corey Hart was cool, but you know someone whose cousin or something dated him.

-There has to be at least 30cm of snow on the ground in less than 24 hours for you to consider it too snowy to drive.

-You remember where you were during the Ice Storm.

-You used to be an Expos fan, but now all you really miss is Youppi.

-You're a Habs fan; always was, always will be...

-You know that your city's reputation for beautiful women is based on centuries-old couplings between French soldiers and royally-commissioned whores (aka Les Filles du Roi).

-You don't understand anyone from Lac-St-Jean, but you can fake the accent.

-You've been to the Tam Tams, and know they have nothing to do with wee Scottish hats.

-You discuss potholes like most people discuss weather.

-You encounter bilingual homeless people.

-While watching an American made-for-TV movie, you realize that "Vienna" is actually Old Montreal, that "New York" is actually downtown and that the "The Futuristic City" is actually Habitat '67.

-You find it amusing when people from outside Quebec compliment you on how good your English is.

-You don't find American comedians speaking "gibberish" French even remotely funny.

-You don't find it weird that there's a strip club on every corner downtown.

-You like your pizza all-dressed

-Cosmos for breakfast on sundays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-You hate Montréal Italians! But realize St Leonard Italians are worse than LaSalle Italians.

-You know that all Leafs fans have herpes.

jerzideva @ 2005-11-21T00:52:00

2005-11-21T05:55:43Z

A man walking along a California beach was deep in prayer. Suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said, "What one thing would you like me to do for you?"

The man said, "Build me a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over anytime I want."

The Lord said, "Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific! The concrete and steel it would take! It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that would honour and glorify me."

The man thought about it for long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish that I could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says 'nothing's wrong', and how I can make a woman truly happy."

The Lord replied, "You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"

jerzideva @ 2005-11-08T21:58:00

2005-11-09T02:58:43Z

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want, either good or bad.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or mortified) about what people remember about you.

Thanks to my good buddy Choke for posting this up. ^___^

jerzideva @ 2005-11-01T00:56:00

2005-11-01T05:56:38Z

Some years ago on a hot summer day in south Florida, a little boy decided to go for a swim in the old swimming hole behind his house. In a hurry to dive into the cool water, he ran out the back door, leaving behind shoes, socks, and shirt as he went.

He flew into the water, not realizing that as he swam toward the middle of the lake, an alligator was swimming toward the shore.

His father, working in the yard, saw the two as they got closer and closer together. In utter fear, he ran toward the water, yelling to his son as loudly as he could.

Hearing his voice, the little boy became alarmed and made a U-turn to swim to his father. It was too late.

Just as he reached his father, the alligator reached him. From the dock, the father grabbed his little boy by the arms just as the alligator snatched his legs. That began an incredible tug-of-war between the two. The alligator was much stronger than the father, but the father was much too passionate to let go. A farmer happened to drive by, heard his screams, raced from his truck, took aim and shot the alligator.

Remarkably, after weeks and weeks in the hospital, the little boy survived. His legs were extremely scarred by the vicious attack of the animal. And, on his arms, were deep scratches where his father's fingernails dug into his flesh in his effort to hang on to the son he loved.

The newspaper reporter who interviewed the boy after the trauma, asked if he would show him his scars. The boy lifted his pant legs. And then, with obvious pride, he said to the reporter, "But look at my arms. I have great scars on my arms, too. I have them because my dad wouldn't let go."

You and I can identify with that little boy. We have scars, too. No, not from an alligator, but the scars of a painful past. Some of those scars are unsightly and have caused us deep regret. But, some wounds, my friend, are because God has refused to let go. In the midst of your struggle, He's been there holding on to you.

The Scripture teaches that God loves you. You are a child of God. He wants to protect you and provide for you in every way. But sometimes we foolishly wade into dangerous situations, not knowing what lies ahead. The swimming hole of life is filled with peril- and we forget that the enemy is waiting to attack. That's when the tug-of-war begins - and if you have the scars of His love on your arms be very, very grateful.

He did not and will not ever let you go.

God has blessed you, so that you can be a blessing to others. You just never know where a person is in his/her life and what they are going through. Never judge another persons scars, because you don't know how they got them.

Right now, someone needs to know that God loves them, and you love them too - enough to not let them go.

jerzideva @ 2005-10-18T15:35:00

2005-10-18T19:35:33Z

jerzideva @ 2005-10-06T16:42:00

2005-10-06T20:42:54Z

Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children North American (Montreal) Premiere

The Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children Schedule is up:

Friday October 21 2005 @ 09:40 pm EDT (GMT -0400)
Ex-Centris - Cassavetes Theater
166 Tickets Sold (18 reserved for special guests)

Saturday October 22 @ 01:40 pm EDT (GMT -0400)
Ex-Centris - Cassavetes Theater
184 Tickets Sold

Tickets pre-sale is on October 8th @ $10 each.

Bulk purchases of tickets will be sold at discounted prices (5 tickets: CDN$8 ea., 10 tickets: CDN$7 ea., 15 tickets: CDN$6 ea.), taxes of 15% may apply.

Anybody planning on going? If so, let me know. Got a contact that's buying in bulk so it's going to be cheaper.

jerzideva @ 2005-09-27T23:44:00

2005-09-28T03:44:56Z

This following poem is written by HarpieHunter of deviantART.

What is Love…?

The world today is filled with corruption,
people twisting the truth and bending
the Holy laws given us…

Darkness descended the day Eve
ate of the Forbidden Fruit,
but even more shadows
enshroud Adam’s sinful race…

Nothing is pure and holy,
for man hath tainted such beauty
and tarnished its luster…

But few keep to the Laws,
and these few are considered
rare gems in such a world as this…

Love is one of these gems…

“What is love?” many ask,
while others claim they know…

Love is not having sex and moving on…

Love is not the puppy-love one has as a child…

Love is not just showing affection…

Love is not just saying, “I love you”
to the person you have feelings for…

Love is unconditional,
uncaring about anything else
but the heart…

Love is when one is willing
to lay his/her life for the other…

Love is when one is brave enough
to express himself/herself
to the other,
completely, openly, and truthfully…

Love is when you trust the one you love,
even when in doubt…

Love is when one is there
whenever the other
needs help or attention,
no matter what…

Love is a sacred thing
that cannot be played with,
as the consequences are severe…

Human love is only temporary,
But true love is eternal…

Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children Leaked

2005-09-13T06:05:39Z

For all you Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children fans out there, you probably already know this but if you don't, the full movie's been leaked. There was a full DVD rip of the movie yesterday morning from a group in Hong Kong.

Subsequently, one of the staff members of Daeya.org is also part of an anime fansub group. He generously and tirelessly worked his ass and his team's asses off so that he could bring us the movie with English subtitles.

For those of you that want the torrent with the English subtitles courtesy of AnimeSource, click here for it. Happy downloading. ^___^

An article worth reading...

2005-09-05T05:32:49Z

Taken from a friend's Xanga page. It might be a long read but it's well worth it. Quite a touching article.

In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with... and the one that got away.

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little niceties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequentials become dealbreakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone. He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life, but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will. So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person. Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about. You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is. The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough to realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing. You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing.

But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away" means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one? Ask him out to coffee, ask her out to a movie, it doesn't matter if you've dropped in from out of nowhere. You'd be surprised, you just might be "the one that got away" as well for the person who is your "the one that got away." You might drop in from out of nowhere and it won't make a difference. If the timing is finally right, it'll all just fall into place somehow and you know, I'm thinking, it would be a great feeling, in the end, to be able to say to someone, "Hey you, you're the one that almost got away.

by Mark J. Macapagal -The Manila Times

jerzideva @ 2005-08-30T23:52:00

2005-08-31T04:26:03Z

For those wondering where I was this past while (which won't be many), I was busy with my overseas relatives and my sister's wedding. I had 7 relatives fly in from Hong Kong and they all ended up staying at my place. Before they came, I kept on wondering how it would be possible to fit 7 extra people in the house because that would bring the total to 12 heads under the same roof. Now that they're gone, the place feels so damn empty.

Of all the relatives that came over, I miss Renny and Kellian the most. They came to Montreal 16 years ago when I was 5 years old. I never got to know them very well back then. When they came this time, they stayed for 10 days. In these short 10 days, I not only caught up with them but got to know them better and grew much, much closer to them. In fact, we became so close that when it was time for them to leave, my aunt and my parents had to physically pry Renny, Kellian and I apart because we were hugging each other and refused to let go. Never in my life have I cried so much.

But back to the wedding...
God really was blessing us all. That Saturday was absolutely beautiful with temperatures in the 30s (Celsius, of course) and a nice breeze. It was held at the church that I attend, Montreal Chinese Alliance Church (MCAC). Pastor Chan said that for every wedding, something always went wrong so that we shouldn't expect a picture perfect wedding. Guess what? It was picture perfect. In my eyes, nothing went wrong.

The banquet was perfect as well. The food was amazing and was prepared exactly the way Fanny and David wanted it. Delays between the dishes were minimal and everybody was happy. The moment the DJ announced that the dance floor was open, it was packed. And yes, I was there as well!

All in all, it was a very satisfying experience. But it's going to take a good while to adjust not having Fanny in the house. Surprisingly enough, I think it's going to take a bigger effort adjusting to not having my cousins here.

I...

2005-08-19T19:48:51Z

I miss you...

Somehow, I knew this would happen...

2005-08-16T05:49:25Z

Given my luck (or lack thereof) with relationships over the past years, I'm not surprised it turned out this way. Do I hate you? Not even close. But chances are, things are weirded out between us now so I'll understand if you ever decide to ... keep your distance.

Right now, I'm just ... Actually, I'm not even sure of what I'm feeling. I know I'm confused but I also know that the gamut of emotions runs much deeper, that it doesn't just stop there.

I doubt I'm going to be getting any sleep tonight. That being the case, I'll be going for another walk. Chances are that I won't be back until late afternoon tomorrow.

And off I go...

Did I...

2005-08-15T06:05:06Z

Did I make the right choice by fessing up and did I do the right thing...?

All I know is that I don't want to lose you or the friendship.